Bod Man

Two of my sons, ages 12 and 14, bought some Bod Man. This is a manly deodorant spray. It costs $7.99 for an 8-ounce bottle! On the bottle, underneath Bod Man, it says "Really Ripped Abs". When I mentioned that it might take more than spraying this stuff on your stomach to get really ripped abs, they explained that was the flavor. I guess if you spray this on you smell like beer and sweat. Teenage boys are the target market for these body sprays, such as Axe and Bod Man, and apparently they are selling millions of them. My sons claim it will help them "get girls". I try to explain they are being conned but to no avail. Hey, Moe Beers, maybe Bod Man Really Ripped Abs is just the ticket!

Spinal Tap Reunion, 1992

Ignore Martha Quinn, but the rest is pretty funny. Nigel in his inventing shed, David and Jeanine at the Drippery with Graham Nash, and Derek driving with dad, Donald Duck-Smalls, around Nilford.

Ladder Act - CORTEO (Cirque du Soleil)

This gives an idea of the angels flying around. This guy did unbelievable things with this ladder!

Cirque du Soleil: Corteo

I went to see this last night. This is the type of experience that cannot be described properly in words because it is totally sensual. It is so much more than incredible acrobatic tricks because you are enveloped by the music, the colors, the textures, the costumes, the lights and the mood. I especially enjoyed the colors: it was a muted maroon, turqoise, pink, teal and gold palette.

When we arrived there was a gorgeous see-through screen set up. It was reminiscent of Italy, of the Italian Renaissance with cherubs.
This is not a very good picture, but hopefully it gives the idea:



The stage was in the center, set up in a horseshoe shape- not quite theatre in the round, rather the crowd was on opposite sides of the stage. I liked this set-up much better than previous Cirque's I have seen.

The story simply is a clown is imaging his own funeral. He is sort of a buffoon, a silly overgrown kid. His bed is on the stage when the angels come to take him up to heaven. There is a procession (Corteo) of his life, lived and things hoped for. Angels, looking like those that sit on top of Christmas trees are floating through the air the whole show.


One of the first breathtaking acts was beautiful gymnastics and dance taking place on elegant candle chandeliers:








Soon after more beds appeared on the stage. These were special beds because they had trampolines hidden in them. A pillow fight and pajama party took place, but it was a fantasy pillow fight. The acrobats were wearing adorable pajama costumes. The tricks seemed unlike anything humans could pull off. I used to do quite a bit of trampoline, and the proximity of the headboards on either end made these tricks much more difficult. For anyone who knows gymnastics terms, "traveling" was a huge no-no or the head would be smashed by the headboard. I truly loved this act! It was so much fun with perfect musical accompaniment.






Afterwards were more beautiful dancing, angels coming down from the sky. Men jumping into the air flipping on a see-saw or teeterboard. That was also quite scary as they would land the double flips on the end of the board! Then they had the "Cyr" act which is giant hula-hoops that the performers get in and roll around the stage. There was a constant stream of amazing acts, yet it was comical with midgets, giants, clowns and all sorts of silliness.

Another mind-boggling thing, that you cannot help but notice, is the bodies on the cast! Mon dieux, it was a sight to see.

I truly love the international flavor of these shows. They use Italian, French, Spanish and English during the show. I was particularly pleased that I understood the few Italian phrases. The songs are in Italian, French, Spanish and a "makeshift" Cirque language. I finally found that was true last night, because it states so on the back of my new CD. On my other Cirque du Soleil CD, Quidam, I suspected that one of the languages was made up, but I was not certain. I spent a long time trying to figure out what language it was: it sounds like a mix of Italian and French but I could tell that it was not real words from those languages. Also the entire cast is very international. They represent Canada, Italy, France, Spain, Russia, Ukraine, Belarus and more. The only people in the cast from the USA are several musicians in the band. I was wondering about why this was, but then it occured to me that any child in the USA who has a talent for acrobatics, would only have the outlet of the sport of gymnastics. In these other countries suppose there places to learn acrobatics and circus acts as well as families with a long history of this type of talent.

There were 2 little people in the show, who absolutely stole the show, Valentyna Paylevanyan and her husband Gregor Paylevanyan from Ukraine. The most unique act of the night was when Valentyna came out held up by a bouquet of helium balloons. Here she is:


They were actually holding her up. There was not enough that she would fly away, but enough to let her float in the air and slowly come down to the floor. The clown pushed her into the air for a bit, then let her out into the audience with instructions to "push her with two hands" if she lands at your seat! I leave you with the video of this video of Valentyna:

One year ago today

January 11, 1006: I was attacked by 3 Presa di Canario dogs while minding my business on my front lawn. This is the type of dog that they were:
The man who owned the dogs that attacked me is breeding them and selling the puppies for $1200-$1500 a piece. It is a very lucrative business. Before my attack, I had not ever heard of the Presa de Canario, also known as "Presas" or "Canarios". They are not recognized by the American Kennel Club, however they were popular in South America. In 2001, there was a very publicized case involving a woman in California, Diane Whipple, who was mauled to death 2 of these dogs:

The Presa de Canario is the breed that attacked and killed Diane Whipple in the hallway outside her apartment in January 2001. The massive, boulder-headed Presa Canario is gaining in popularity as a result of the publicity surrounding this case. Breeders of the type of vicious dogs that killed her are caught in a paradox. Business has never been better--but for all the wrong reasons. They are the dog of choice for those who want the most explicit symbol of ferocity the pet kingdom has to offer, breeders and trainers say. "They're looking for that designer weapon that could make them look tougher," said Tracy Hennings, a breeder in Cleveland who is the president of the Dogo Canario Club of America. "They want that tough, macho, big dog at the end of the chain, lunging and charging." Breeders say they are receiving dozens and dozens of calls requesting information about the 120-pound dogs. They are not exactly from people looking for a family pet. They want these killer dogs-- as soon as the dog killed that woman, they wanted them.

Okay! This is the kind of sick society we live in, excuse me for being cliche' here. I'll improve that sentence eventually. Now since so many morons want these dogs, more morons are getting into the breeding business. The dogs that attacked me are owned by this type of jerk, who is breeding these dogs for profit. Some breeders are taking Mastiffs and breeding them with Pit Bulls and calling them Presa de Canarios.

I cannot believe a year has gone by, but I still think about this a lot. Actually everytime I step out onto my front lawn with my little dog. It was very traumatic. I still have a scar in that spot on my arm. I was also scratched on the back of my upper arm, and chipped my front tooth slamming the door on the dogs. I was on my front lawn with my little poodle, taking him for his afternoon pee, when the 3 dogs sprang out of my back yard and tried to kill him. I picked him up and they bit me on the arm. I ran back into the house, but I was unable to get my dog from them. They continued to try to kill my dog. Finally with help of 2 neighbors, a truck and baseball bats, my dog managed to get away with ripped ears, a cracked sternum, cracked ribs and no other injuries. The 3 dogs went to the county pound for 10 days and then were returned to the owner. The owner was find a piddly $300.

This man was given the dogs back, where one of them had a litter of nine puppies 2 months later.

Bounced Check Blues

I have been selling on eBay since January 2000. A check from one of my customers bounced! It looks like I am not going to get paid and I am furious over this.
In all the years I am selling on eBay, I only had one customer bounce a check, but he apologized profusely and returned my money, plus paid my bank fees, plus added another $20 for my troubles. I never have waited for "checks to clear", I just send the item out. A lot of eBay sellers lecture potential buyers about checks, tell them it will be 10 days to wait to clear the check if they send one. In the olden days, before most of my payments were electronic, I got a lot of checks in the mail. I was not able to fathom the headache of waiting for checks to clear before shipping- I looked at is as an administrational nightmare. Well not any more! No more Ms. Nice Stupid Moron EBay Seller!

I have had a very trusting attitude and never had a problem. The large majority of my customers now pay via Paypal, which is an email credit card system. The convenience and safety of this method is that I do not see their credit card numbers, and the payment to me is instant and guaranteed. About 95% of my customers now pay through Paypal as opposed to 50% 3 years ago and 25% 6 years ago. Now, the other 5% usually sends money orders. However, I have told some of the customers, that if it was easier to send a personal check rather than buy a money order, that I would not "hold the check to clear before shipping". I trust my menswear customers. They are not out to cheat me over the clothing.

This was a different situation; a different customer base. I was selling some Columbia Fleece jackets that I bought wholesale. The idea was to sell them before Christmas to get in on the holiday buying frenzy. There was a very low profit margin on each jacket. However it was pretty easy money, as they were all the same so once the first auction was done, it was all done. For those of you wondering about the scam of making millions selling on eBay, it is not as easy as it may sound. I shelled out $1100 to a wholesaler for 48 jackets. My total profit. after paying eBay and Paypal fees, is only about $300. The check bounced for $42 and the bank charged me $5 fee. So $47 loss from a total $300 profit is a significant percentage of my profit: more than 15%! I want to kill this bitch! Frankly, I didn't even consider the possibility that it would bounce, checks come so rare to begin with.

Her emails are being returned- she deleted the yahoo account. I have her phone number. All I need to do is get up the guts to call her on the phone. I also have her address, I could send her several invoices. I could also try to redeposit the check, but that is a gamble because if it bounces again, I get charged another $5. I could also post her personal information here! If anyone has any advice let me know. If anyone wants to call her for me, let me know!

I need to start being more wary of my fellow man. Between having my purse stolen and this customer screwing me, I am afraid I am becoming distrustful of everyone. Well, not really, one's basic nature cannot really change over night. But in general I do believe in the honestly of my customers and people I interact with. Most people who find a wallet would return it. Most people who shop on eBay are honest. Most sellers on eBay are honest.

Hopefully I collect this money. I do not like the idea of making a phone call to her. I do not know why I am such a wuss! Maybe I should publish her name and address on this blog? Shame her into paying me? Then I think about Stolen Sidekick fiasco and think twice about that!

Ebay Raises Seller Fees Again!

This morning I recieved an email from the President of eBay, Bill Cobb, explaining the new fee increase. Happy New Year to you too, Bill! Most people start the new year off with a raise or a cost of living increase. Ebay sellers greet each new year with what amounts to a pay cut.

EBay has raised fees almost every single year since I have been selling (since January 2000) and adds new fees any time they like. In July 2006, there was a HUGE fee increase, including an almost 50% increase on the eBay store subscription. I was hoping that we would not be faced with any new increases for awhile. Yeah, right. Wishful thinking.

The fees are raised in one area only, for example, final value fees, and the insertion fees are left alone. The next time they raise insertion fees. Then they raise "specialty" fees, such as gallery (photos), Buy it Now fees, and auction length fees. They have fiddled and fiddled with all of the different fees to make it look like nothing is happening. They go around in a perfect circle, each time with an interesting explanation to match the increase. A nickel here, a dime there, a penny there. With millions of items up for sale each day on ebay, a nickel increase generates millions for the company.

In July, the sellers got a long drawn-out explanation behind the fees. It seems it wasn't fair, so they were going to raise some of the fees to make it more fair! Today the explanation is that they are spending our money "driving buyers to the site". The commercials and the direct mail advertising are lame. That did not help me sell my sector, which is gently used clothing. Did eBay run a commecial explaining about used mens suit in great shape for a song? No, instead they pushed "brand new" inventory, electronics, jewelry and ipods. Never mind that the mark-up on new items is next to nothing for the sellers. If you purchase new items wholesale and discount them on eBay, then pay fees, the margin of profit is slim, if anything.

The listing fees are going up 5 cents and final value fees going from 3% to 3.25%. I feel nickel and dimed to death. On one item which I was selling for $30, ebay and paypal took $5 in fees. The wholesale price was $22, making no room for any mistakes or profit.

A number of sellers try to protest by not listing anything or opening cheaper auction sites. Unfortunately this never works because EBay has the only real name recognition as an auction site in the U.S. There are others, but if no one knows about them, your stuff won't sell.

From the email: "Let me say that, while we believe these changes are modest, we consider any changes that may impact our sellers with great care. These adjustments are the result of careful analysis and we believe they're the right thing to do to keep the marketplace strong for our eBay.com sellers."

What does that mean? I do not think they have considered how this is going to impact me. In any case, I know that ebay is trying to expand into China. Apparently they lost the market in Japan, which uses Yahoo Auctions as its main auction site, and do not want to lose China. I would imagine that they need a lot of money to get ebay started in China, and that is one of the major reasons for the fee increases.

More and more people sell on ebay each day. So although eBay has bigger expenses, and is running a larger enterprise, those expenses should be covered through existing fees. If there are more sellers and more items, there are more fees to collect.

Actually, this summer they promised us that the new fee structure was exactly what was needed to straighten out the company. They also claimed that no more fees were on the horizon. They plainly lied to us last summer. As my expenses increase, my competition increases as well, which always pushes down prices. The more competition, the cheaper I have to sell my wares to stay competitive. The higher the fees, the less money I make. The less money I make, the less I want to continue doing this for a living.

Good Riddance 2006

Except for a few high points, 2006 has been a trying year for the most part. I learned not to take anything for granted because anything can change in your life at a moment's notice. Here is how my year went and as Rosanne Rosannadanna would say: "If it's not somethin', it's another. It just goes to show you, it's always somthing"
January: My dog and I got attacked my 3 vicious dogs. I was bitten in the arm and cracked my tooth. My dog was seriously injured but somehow survived.

February: My Uncle had a catastrophic medical emergency and nearly died. He fortunately survived, which we are all very thankful, but he is struggling to regain his skills due to a debilitating stroke along with near death during emergency open heart surgery.

March: Someone in India cleaned out my bank account. I went to court as a witness in the dog case. I took a fun trip to South Beach with my girlfriend.

May: I had a cyst removed but it became infected and I was in agony for a few days.

May: Tommy broke his finger.

June: Tommy broke his arm.

July: One of my best childhood friends dies. This was devastating news. It really hurts. So sad.

July: My dog has 2 seizures necessitating $200 worth of tests.

2006 Highlight: Trip to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

August: Great trip to Vancouver Canada with my girlfriend where I accidentally (stupidly) ran up $500 of roaming charges on my cell phone.

September: I backed into the garage door, while I was INSIDE the garage. I crashed into the closed door and essentially destroyed it.

October: I completed the 38 mile Athens-to-Atlanta roadskate marathon.

November: A wonderful man, husband and father of 2, whom I had known very well, dies of cancer at age 41. The funeral was one of the saddest things I had ever witnessed in my life.

November: I get a speeding ticket and another violation for a total of $300 worth of fines.

November: Over Thanksgiving my purse, car keys, cash, credit cards and cell phone stolen while shopping

November: I find out my other Uncle has larynx cancer.

December: Things start looking up! Lions win State Football championships. I beat one of my fines in court. I have a wonderful Christmas.

Yeah, it's always something! I try to keep my spirits up and expect shit to happen.

Besides Christmas and the 2 vacations that I took with my girlfriend, it has been a sad year. The dog attack, the worries about my sweet Uncle, and the 2 deaths of friends have been the most difficult things. You just never know how quickly your life can change. I try to be thankful each day for my own good health, that of my children and my parents and my brothers and sisters. If anything were to happen to any of them, I don't know what I would do. So I do appreciate what I have now, which is 3 beautiful sons and a wonderful family. Happy 2007 to all of you! Kiss your kids, tell your parents you love them and call your brother or sister and tell them you are thinking of them.

Christmas 2006

This was the Christmas card I sent. I made it and Kenny printed them for me and created the border. After not sending any photos last year and not sending any cards the year the before, I was happy these came out so well.

It was a wonderful Christmas. Having my parents visit on Christmas proper was a rare treat. My good friend Pat was also spending the holidays with us. This is how I had the den decorated:
Here is my Christmas tree- a 8-9 footer that drank not one drop of water even though the bottom was cut. It is bone dry! It has to go very soon!

This year we had a lot more Christmas Eve presents than usual, with Pat visiting and my parents being here for Christmas.
This is a close up of the gifts under the tree.

Here is the Liguini Frutta di Mare I made on Christmas Eve. It was really delicious, a wonderful meal not soon to be forgotten. Molto bene! Buon Natale e felice capo d'anno a tutti di voi! Shrimp, scallops, clams and mussels in wine sauce over linguini, you really can't go wrong! Below are friends Kenny and Pat on Christmas Eve and my mom in the background and Tommy is "relaxing" on the couch. Santa brought me everything I wanted and more. Guess who got tickets to Cirque du Soleil? I guess I have been a very good girl this year! Honestly it was so much work preparing for these 2 days, but it was all worth it. We had wonderful food and lots of drinking going on. We played Scattergories, Pat's first time. She was okay...well I won except the rum and eggnog must have gone to my head because while everyone was on "W" I was on "C"! However even with allowing me 1/2 a point for my answers on that round, I still kicked everyone's jolly butts!
After our fine meal on Christmas Eve, the kids and my parents opened their gifts. I opened a few of mine but Pat and I saved most of ours for Christmas Day. After opening the gifts we went back into the dining room for Tommy's famous apple pie. I should have gotten a picture of his most perfect lattice crust. He actually made 4 pies this year- we had 2 and he gave the other 2 pies as gifts.

Santa Claus arrived - Greg and Andrew were up at 5:30 AM. I got up and 7 and there they were waiting....I am glad they have not grown out of that. I always got up in the middle of the night as a kid. Their father came over at 8AM to watch the opening of the gifts. Pat rolled her hungover self out of bed much later. We had coffee and muffins and not too long after breakfast, egg nog and rum, followed by rum and coke, then white wine. The others switched to then red wine, then beer, and then Amaretto. I made a fresh ham and all the trimmings on Christmas Day. We watched a movie and then football. My mother cleaned my toaster and inside the microwave. The baseboards also got a good scrubbing. It was all good! I am exhausted but this was honestly one of the best Christmases I have ever had. I cleaned up in the gift department as well, getting tossed way more than the usual trinkets I usually get. Happy 2007 to all!

Municipal Court

I have had the misfortune to go to municipal court 3 times over the past few years. It is mind-boggling how these sessions are run. The idea is to cram as many bad citizens as you can in a little room, give everyone a number and make them wait several hours for their name to be called. Professional court-goers know to show up 90 minutes early. If you show up on time, you are behind 200 other sinners.
The majority of the people at municipal court are minorities and immigrants. When the judge starts calling people forward, everyone can hear the loser getting reamed. This week, where I was at Suwanee Municipal Court, fighting an improperly transferred license plate fine, the judge was a real barrel of laughs. He said to some poor schmuck: "Where were you on December 6th? What do you think court date means? 6 months probation"! One man was wearing a tie, who knows maybe he was on his way to work? Well the judge decided to tell him off for wearing a tie: "I appreciate the tie, but it wasn't necessary, but I do appreciate the gesture. 6 months probation"!
The majority of the people there are trying to fight speeding tickets. Something that is quite impossible to do, due to lasers and radars clocking your speed. You cannot get out of a speeding ticket, contrary to all the popular myths circulating about this issue. What is confusing is that if you pay my mail, and avoid court, you lose the opportunity to plead Nolo, which I believe you can plead once every five years. This is supposed to somehow help with your car insurance company. So the only reason really to appear in municipal court to fight a speeding ticket would be to enter a plea of Nolo. A plea of "nolo contendere" means that the defendant neither admits nor disputes the charge, and is an alternative to pleading guilty or not guilty. This is also called a plea of no contest or, more informally, a "nolo" plea. "Nolo contendere" is Latin and literally means "I do not want to contend it." While not technically a guilty plea, it is made as a part of plea bargains and has the same effect as a guilty plea. For some reason the judge was lowering everyone's speed to 59-in-a-45, but not lowering the fine. This made me kind of mad because I paid my fine in advance, for a 63-in-a-45. Had I wasted the court’s time and mine and sat there for several hours, I could have gotten my speed lowered to 59 too, which may or may not impact my insurance premiums.
When I arrived 20 minutes early, I took my seat. There were already at least 100 dregs of society waiting. I was lucky to be sitting next to a very loudmouthed professional who collects speeding tickets as a hobby. First he says excitedly to all of us: "What are you here for? Speeding? Me too!! Where did they get you? Etc. etc" Then: "I was hoping my cop wouldn't show- then they have to throw it out- but that's my bastard cop over there with the glasses. Which one was your cop?" Myth number 1: The cops ALWAYS show! Suwanee has traffic court one night a week. They only have 3-4 cops, why would they not show up? In bigger jurisdictions, the police give out tickets with court dates based on their job schedule- that is, all of their tickets are scheduled for court at the same day and time.
The Mr. Professional Speeder had more tips for his captive audience: "Tell the judge your cruise control was on, that'll get you out of it". Okay. Then he told us all about a special strip that is illegal that you can buy in Canada that you put in your grill which jams the lasar. Okay, Canada here I come. He explained that although they are illegal, there is no way a cop will ever find it". I was loving this guy! A veritable fountain of wisdom! Then he started bragging about his radar detector. I told him that I read that the radar detectors do not work against laser and that Suwanee uses laser. He gave me this most excellent advice: "As soon as the device flashes "L", slam on your brakes! This worked for me today". I am telling you, we have got some real winners out there on the highways. About 5 of us had a great time discussing the nationally known speed traps in Duluth, as well as all our bad experiences in Duluth Municipal Court. A much bigger zoo than the one in Suwanee I might add. Honestly, I am embarrassed to say that I had a lot to contribute to that discussion!
Some people I have spoken to (mainly those who have managed to avoid municipal court) are not aware of the role of the solicitor. When you arrive and sign in, the clerk asks if you would like to speak with the solicitor. The solicitor is actually the prosecuting attorney and is NOT on your side. The way it works is that you can plead your case to the solicitor privately before seeing the judge. If the solicitor feels that your "story" is any good, he can recommend that the judge lower your fine or he can even throw the case out (rare). Usually, however, they tell you that your excuse sucks and good luck with the judge! In my case, with this not being a speeding ticket, rather a bureaucratic screw-up that resulted in me driving around for a year in an unregistered car, I was able to convince the solicitor of my innocence and he dismissed the case. I did not have to see the judge. He assured me that he NEVER dismisses a case. Actually when I first arrived in his office, he assumed I was there about the speeding ticket. He began lecturing me on what a bad mood the judge was in and that I should just give it up. I cannot imagine all the B.S. excuses these attorneys have to listen to. It must get tiring listening to an endless parade of us lawless lowlifes.

Happy Holidays everyone and watch your speed! Here's to a court-free 2007!

Lions State Co-Champions and it's the liberals fault!

The Lions tied the game with the Roswell Hornets. The rules state that there is no Overtime in a championship game, and that both teams become co-champions. It is really weird- no winner no loser. Actually no loser, just 2 winners. So you would think they would be happy, but everyone was feeling like it was 1/2 a championship, and disappointed to share the championship with another school. Do you always have to pre-fix your championship with the word "co"? Do you always have to qualify it? It certainly dampens the achievement, but it beats losing.

Roswell was winning 14-3 going into the 4th quarter. The Lions tied it up with just over 4 minutes left. When the announcer stated that both teams were to be co-champs, the crowd, unaware of the rule, went ballistic. The boys, instead of jumping up and down and celebrating (or crying) were walking around in a daze. It was pretty odd. I was afraid they were going to lose, just like the 1991 Braves did, so when I saw the 14-3 score, I figured it was over. I came back to look at the TV with one minute left and saw the score at 14-14! I was shocked! I assumed there would be sudden death, which always gives me agita. Then nothing happened and the announcer said both teams had won!


From the Gwinnett Daily Post, by Will Hammock
Sports Editor:

State policy kept them from fighting for an outright championship in overtime, but Armstrong (Lions Coach) said his team deserves the accolades of one that wins the title without sharing. After all, it was a GHSA policy that forced the deadlock. The players were just competing under those guidelines.

“They’re all happy,” Armstrong said of his players. “They realize they came charging back and they finished the game. They didn’t lose the game. We had the momentum going and if there was an overtime system, we felt like we had the momentum and could have won the game.”

Instead it was an unusual tie.

It was one of two in state title games on Saturday (the AA game also was a tie) that ended deadlocked, and it also left plenty of people at McEachern confused. The Roswell crowd immediately chanted for overtime, and were matched by the Lions’ faithful.

“I think a lack of information is what hurt the most,” Armstrong said. “If the announcer had made an announcement with a few minutes left about what happens if it’s tied, it would have helped inform people. I told our kids about it in practice, but I’m not sure a lot of them remembered.

“I don’t think any of the fans knew unless their kids told them. The biggest disappointment is there was no celebration. Our kids were a little better after we talked to them.”

Despite the outcome, Armstrong said he understands the GHSA’s policy on overtime.
“In basketball they play another period of time for overtime,” the coach said. “You don’t line up and shoot free throws. Basketball coaches don’t want to see that any more than I’d like to line it up on the 15 and see who can score. That’s not a true measure of how the game’s played. If you’re going to have a tiebreaker, it should be something like two, six-minute halves where each team has an opportunity to get the ball.”

As I said I do not know much about football, but I guess the feeling is that sudden death is not a true test of who is the better team. However, it is used all season long to decide tie games, so why not in the final game? A lot of people feel that this rule, which has been around since 1948, needs to be changed. I think the Georgia High School Football Association will be looking at it.

The stupidest thing I read in regard to this was on an AJC sports blog. A lot of comments blamed the tie and the no-overtime rule on "today's liberal feel-good parenting philosophy".

Actual Blog Comments:

"How come the state has overtime in the regular season but not the playoffs? Talk about backward but I guess that is Georgia for you. I know, it must be left wing liberals making the rules so everyone gets a trophy. That way nobody gets their feelings hurt if they lose"

" I know how i feel as a fan…disgusted, shocked, and absolutelu flabegasted that the “authorities’ could endorse such an idiotic rule. this is the same lame, liberal bozos that give us “social promotions” in academics…nobody is a failure…therefore nobody is a winner either…dumba**es!!!"

"Wow! What a debate. The fact is, that this rule is a terrible LIBERAL rule."

However in 1948, when this Georgia High School football rule was put into place, this parenting philosophy was absolutely unheard of. In fact the backlash against the "self-esteem" movement by many conservatives is really idiotic. Consider the reason for the self-esteem movement: In the 1940's, 1950's, 1960's, 1970's, it was considered okay to tell your kid he was a jerk, stupid, lazy, ugly and fat. Parents would tell us, and all children that they were worthless, stupid and would never amount to anything. They didn't do it out of maliciousness, they just didn't know any better. As a result a generation of drug addicted, alcoholic, overweight prozac popping adults emerged. It became eventually clear to some psychology experts that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to tell your kid he was an idiot to his face, that maybe you should build up your child's self esteem so that he would not grow up feeling worthless. This spawned the "self-esteem" movement that right wing talk show hosts despise. They seem to not know from whence it came. So many generations messed up their kids by calling them names creating complete basket case adults. Perhaps some programs do take it too far. But I remember when I first had a child reading a parenting book that said that if my child brings me a picture he made, instead of saying, "geez, what a piece of crap, the lines are all crooked, your art sucks" thereby crushing his spirit, I should say "wow that's great, I like they way you used those colors"! To find something positive in whatever they were working on. As one who continually had my spirit crushed, and who has major head problems due to it, I like the self-esteem movement. But let me say this 1948 rule in football is NOT related because in 1948 there was no such thing as "cooperative games" and "self-esteem"! It was just not considered fair to base the State Championship on kicking field goals.

Worst to First: oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh....

No, a cow isn't dying. I am reminiscing about the wonderful 1991 Atlanta Braves season and how it reminds me of our high school football team's current run for the State Championship. The football team, the Peachtree Ridge Lions of Suwanee, the High School that 2 of my boys attend, are heading to the State Championship in Class AAAAA tonight. This was totally unexpected and I am all hyped up over it. I have not been this excited over a sports team since the Braves awesome season in 1991. I realize that the majority of my readers were not yet born in 1991, but insanity was the rule all over metro Atlanta.

It was the Braves worst to first and the city was in a frenzy. There were tomahawks hanging everywhere you went. Everyone was talking about the Braves, even non-baseball fans. I did all sorts of crazy things like buy an overpriced National Pennant winner tee shirt and stay up half the night watching the games. But the stupidest thing I did was head downtown to the Braves Ticker Tape parade.

As is tradition, a team winning the World Series is usually thrown a parade by its city. The Braves lost to the Twins in the World Series, but there was so much pride- the community was really so proud of this team - that it was decided to throw a parade anyway. The sentiment was to let them know that we didn't care that they lost the series! We loved them for all they accomplished.

I decided to show my support so I headed downtown with my then 3-year-old child who really wasn't walking yet and was kind of heavy. I got on Marta and it was packed. It was full of children ditching school. I nearly got trampled when I arrived downtown. I could not move, I could not walk in any direction. I have never been in such a huge crowd in my life- it was scary. Everyone in the entire city turned out. The estimates are that between 500,000-750,000 were at the parade. To this day, MARTA counts the Braves 1991 parade as its heaviest day of ridership. Due to this massive crowd, not many were able to see anything. There was mayhem and mobbing. I had envisioned that I would cheer as the players passed. Ha, well that never happened- all I saw was a urine-stained corner where my face was trapped in the Five Points Station. I was holding onto the the baby, my arms about to break, freaking out. The next day's headline read: "Bedlam reigns on Peachtree as half-million roar for Braves. Parade crowds, 15 deep, surge into street to touch heroes" It was bedlam all right! But we loved them and it was exciting!

I feel the same way I did about the 1991 Braves as I do now about the football team at Peachtree Ridge. I am NOT a big football fan. I don't really understand the game and find myself drifting off whenever I have tried to watch. Last season my sons wanted to go to the games, so I started taking them on Friday nights. I enjoyed the whole pomp and festivities of the game.

You don't want to mess with this guy, Number 76, Cameron Heyward:

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Note how much bigger he is than every one else on the field:


This year I started reading the High Schools sports pages. That whole 4 downs thing I thought I always knew, but NO ONE ever explained about the 10 yards! Duh, now I get it! I thought you had 4 downs and then if you didn't get a touchdown you lost the ball. If I can only figure out the punting thing...My sons are complete statistics nuts and know all the teams in the county and pretty much in the whole State of Georgia (and the colleges and the NFL). We attended almost all the games this season, because I enjoy those crappy nachos. Eventually our team lost 3 games to the 3 stronger teams in the 7-AAAAA division: Collins Hill, North Gwinnett and Norcross. We were actually excited and pulling for North Gwinnett, our old High School, also in Suwanee, which was having a record 10-0 season and at one point was ranked number one in the State.

The Lions came in 4th out of 8 teams in 7-AAAAA. They were never even close to being ranked in the top 10. The top 4 teams make the playoffs. The 4th seed always has to play a 1st place team, and they have to play as visitors. This is to bump them off easily and give the rightful top finishers a chance to move up. But predicted by sportswriters and everyone else to lose, they have won 4 straight play-off games.

Tonight they play Roswell High School for the State Championship. This is an amazing accomplishment for a school only 4 years old. I have lived in the same house for the past 13 years. My children have been re-districted to 3 different elementary schools, 2 middle schools and 2 high Schools. It is hard to get attached to any one school when you are never in one long enough. When they rezoned us to Peachtree Ridge, only very few families were switched there from our old school at North Gwinnett, perhaps only 5%-10% of the school. Going to the first PTA meeting was odd, because I didn’t see ONE familiar face, even thought I have lived in the same area for 13 years! I felt like I had been dropped in Kansas. Most of our friends were made through baseball and Cub Scouts while at North Gwinnett. We felt like outsiders. I think one good thing about the Lions run for the championship is it is going to bring a sense of belonging and cohesiveness to this school. The school has gotten tons of publicity this past week, including an article in the Metro section of the AJC about the school.

http://www.ajc.com/search/content/metro/gwinnett/stories/2006/12/15/gwxridge1215.html


There have been at least 20 articles this past 2 weeks about the football team, particularly in the Gwinnett Section, since they are the only school left standing:

http://www.ajc.com/search/content/metro/gwinnett/stories/2006/12/11/gwxlions1211.html

On Friday, my boys told me the football team paraded through the halls as the school went nuts. You can watch tonight's game at 7:30 on Georgia Public Broadcasting (GPB). I'll let you know who wins. My son's are going with their dad. I will watch on TV. After attending last's weeks semi-final in the Georgia Dome, I need to avoid crowds for awhile, but that is a whole other blog entry entitled "Ethel and her neuroses"

It's beginning to sound a lot like whining....

Why is everyone acting so stressed? There are 19 days until Christmas Eve. There are only 10 days of work remaining: 3 days gift shopping, 1 day putting up the tree, 1.5 days writing cards, 2 days wrapping, 1.5 days cleaning, 1 day cooking = 10 days. You have 19 days to get 10 days worth of chores finished! You can drag your ass and still finish with time to spare! So enough of the bitching and complaining!

The boys did a wonderful "Christmas Vacation" job on the outside lights. That is the first time I gave up control, handed them the lights and left. It was liberating to have one of my traditional holiday chores be done by someone else and be finished 3 weeks early.

Here is the breakdown so far: 1 day planning my budget and gift list (to which I ignore), 1 long day in the mall, 1 day online shopping (1 Overstock order, 1 Amazon order, a couple of ebay orders) and 1 day pre-cleaning (when the parents are coming you have to pre-clean so that you can be prepared to actually clean closer to their arrival- you simply remove the top 3 layers of dust,but be sure to leave the final layer for Cleaning Day). Thus, I have put 4 days in so far.

The whole Christmas thing can be accomplished in 14 days. That is for someone like me to whom the entire burden of providing a beautiful Christmas for 6 people lies. I shop for 7 nieces and nephews, my sister, my parents, and my friends. I also shop for my 3 sons, so they wake up on Christmas morning to everything they wanted and more. I go out and buy a tree, drag it off of my car and set it into the stand. I try to bribe someone to help me get it into the stand. The worst part of the whole season is getting the damn tree into the freaking stand straight- relationships have crumbled over this issue alone. Then I drag the boxes up from the basement, put the lights on the tree, decorate the house including creating my famous pine bough centerpiece, plan and cook 2 elaborate meals, buy antipasto and chocolate and wine and fine liquers for the guests, write the Christmas cards, wrap over 120 presents, ship boxes all over the country, and scrub the toilets and de-mildew the shower. I draw the line at baking- sorry although I seem to be her, I am NOT Suzy Homemaker and there is not such thing as an EZ Bake Oven.

I do all of this with no help. And what do I get for my efforts? NOTHING!! Not one damn thing! Well not really true, they do toss me a few trinkets. Bitter? No! Bitching and complaining? NO! Why, you ask? Because there are 19 days left and only 10 days of work to do!

My purse was stolen

My purse was stolen yesterday. I hate this post so I am deleting it. The whole thing sucked. On to bigger and better things!

Fun on Wheels

Taking a nap on Silver Hill Rd.

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EDDY-IN-THE BOX: 25th Anniversary Athens-to-Atlanta StartLine Costume
Left: Eddy Matzger takes a pre-race stretch.

I decided to take my decrepit overweight out-of-shape body and attempt the 38 mile event. I came to this conclusion on June 1, leaving me 4 months to train. And all I got for my efforts was "What you're only skating 38 miles?" All the diehard pain warriors do not understand how I, Bong the Bomber, went from Fast to Flab in such a short time. It's called middle age, you Maschochistic Five-wheeled spandex-clad Freaks! I am still ranked in the top 10 for skate babes on the Duraskater Rankings, (http://www.a2a.net/results-durask.htm) -- so when I say I can't, I know what I'm talking about. Been there, done that. Broke that finger, left my skin on the pavement and suffered my share of severe bonkatude. And 38 miles is no picnic either-- but everytime an idiot drops out of the poker game, there's one less joker in the bunch.

What better way to celebrate the Athens-to-Atlanta 25th Anniversary Road Skate Marathon that in 7 year old ripped up speed skates? The frame busted loose the day before with no repair in sight. I decided it was a "mental" thing. But then Skateboi (due to years of overdoing it with Thai Chi) declared it was not mental, rather a real physical problem. I then became concerned, because of all people, he would know what's mental and what's not mental. Was that a cracking creaky sound I was hearing real or was it my imagination?

I went to the Expo and interviewed at least 8 different skating experts who were working the booths. These macho gadget wielding toolsters, Rollerblade engineers and handy-with-a-hex wrench sk8men suggested a variety of opposing solutions. All felt the need to try to dislodge the frame from the boot to check and see if there was indeed a problem, only adding to the problem. Mom and Dad, all the money you spent on my tuition to MIT was for nothing: a trip to Manny Moe's and Jack provided a perfect solution: A tube of flowy Crazy Glue. This filled in the cracks and not a creak to be heard from Athens to Dacula. Where I am proud to say I got 2nd place in my age (Old Bags), then nearly collapsed on the sidewalk.

To all you rednecks in the country side between Athens and Dacula: I am sorry we ruined your day and made you late for Church. Since god didn't strike us down dead, you felt the need to carry out His Work.

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The MSN Skating Butterflys Introduce Windows XP! That's me, 3rd purple velvet body stocking clad butterfly from the right. This was the happiest day of my life. Microsoft actually paid us each $300 for this gig. This was the best gig I ever had (actually it was the only gig I have ever had.) There is certainly something to be said for paid gigs.

I would post more fun skating pics, but The Great Blogger Spirit is not letting me post any more tonight. I need to pray that the GBS will hear my prayers and allow my pics to post with ease on the first try.

The Calpurnia Chronicles

This esteemed journal finally has a topic which will appeal to a wide audience: Both the third AND the fourth floors of the State Mental Institution should enjoy this. Actually, my niece asked to be featured in this blog, which is a highly unusual request. Now I’m am not going to say she's a nutcase, but I would like to point out that no one reads this blog and even if they did, it is not a place where one would want to be the topic of an entry, so obviously she can’t be right in the head.

Blog schmog I always say, and so now I’ll happily blog away the hours telling you all about my niece and goddaughter, Calpurnia. Her real name is not Calpurnia, but this being the Internet I cannot reveal her true name. I picked Calpurnia because her real name does start with “Ca” and end in “A” and also because the name Calpurnia has a colorful history in our family. My grandfather called my grandmother Calpurnia. It is the name of Julius Caesar’s third (and thankfully last) wife. My grandfather would call out “Calpurnia, Calpurnia” and my grandmother would quickly appear with a scambilino or a plate of chicken cutlets.

Six months or so after the birth of my 3rd little boy, my sister had a baby girl. After 3 boys of my own, I was so happy to have a girl. When I was asked to be her Godmother, I was thrilled! Finally I had the little girl I always wanted!

Calpurnia is a really wonderful girl. Her little brother, Dante, follows her everywhere and who could blame him? If I lived closer, I would follow her everywhere too. But it does annoy her to no end, and let me tell you I can relate. Her mother, (my sister, Ginandtonica), also used to follow me around when we were kids. She was such a complete pest, I could do nothing to lose her, and believe me I tried. But I guess the lesson to be learned here is that what goes around comes around, it’s the Circle of Life.

Calpurnia, let me offer you some advice, cause honey, I’ve been there. Whenever the brother starts to annoy you, close your eyes and think back to when you were 4 and were jumping up and down on the bed with your cousin Achilles, and sing this softly to yourself: Hakuna Matata, it’s a philosophy, now I’m problem free! If that doesn’t work, put a “kick me” sign on his back.

Calpurnia has made me very proud. Let it be known, to all my faithful readers, that Calpurnia once won a Checkers Tournament! That was a major accomplishment in her young life as it took place at Lake George, NY, a magnet for checker enthusiasts as well as hotbed of International World Class checker activity.

She has also has placed several times in the Science Fair at her school. That’s right, she actually grew plants in her basement IN THE DARK!! She has a lot of talent- she takes after me in so many ways, it's scary. In fact, she has a 97 average at the moment.

She is very artistic and won a competition for her artwork making a Fair Housing poster. Obviously she is very familiar with the topic of Fair Housing because she has to sleep in the top bunk in the same room as her little sister, Aphrodite, very unfair housing if you ask me. "Mini Me" was also awarded the Presidential Award for Academic Excellence upon graduating 5th grade. They tossed out only a handful of these, so of course, Calpurnia will now go on and follow in my footsteps by becoming a sought-after highly acclaimed world scholar.

She is also a former Head of the Clinic of the Clinic of the Clinic, a clandestine cheap child slave trade operation. She was known to rule the clinic with an iron fist, although in her later years, she softened up and allowed her brother human status by promoting him from the lower classes. She was a humane ruler and established a unique heirarchy which was hammered out at an exclusive Code Yellow meeting. Athough the members of the lower classes had less power than all groups, they still had the right to speak their minds- revolutionary indeed!

Although I could write an entire book about this lovely child, I need to pick my toenails, so I will leave the blog open for comments. Don’t fear signing up and getting your own blogspot, which is required for comment-leaving privileges. That is how I got involved in this useless pastime myself. Thank you for reading and Hakuna Matata!
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Bang Bang BANG wooooo!

The Suwanee Creek Greenway, is a beautiful, peaceful multi-use paved trail where exercise enthusiasts and nature lovers can walk, skate, bike and jog. It covers 4 miles of woods, wetlands and wildlife habitat. I like it because even though it is not very long, the scenery is constantly changing. There are sections of very tall hardwoods, winding creeks, along with views of weedy marshes. One night I spotted a beaver swimming in the marsh. I have seen rabbits, deer, woodpeckers, tadpoles and many other creatures while on that trail.

The City of Suwanee, Georgia, has recieved numerous accolades and awards for their Green Space Initiative, including the 2004 and 2005 CREATE Community Award from the Atlanta Regional Commission in the Community Building category for building parks. The city has purchased over 200 acres of greenspace over the past few years. Besides the Greenway, there are 3 new parks, including the Town Center Park with interactive fountain and ampitheatre, and a state-of-the-art playground. The city government has good relationships with its State Senators and Congressman who work to tirelessly to hand grants their way. This is all no doubt due to the charm and persuasive powers of the Mayor of Suwanee, Nick Masino. Everyone loves Mayor Nick Masino! He has got one of these personalities that makes everyone feel relaxed and want to be his friend, and give his city tons of money.

Mayor Nick Masino

The Suwanee Creek Greenway is such a peaceful, lovely, quiet place it is hard to believe that you are in the middle of suburban sprawl. Since it is only 2 miles from my home, I go there a lot to escape the monotony of working all day in front of a PC.

Last night, while riding my bike when I come upon a man who was sitting on a bench next to the trail lighting some type of firework. He would light it, it would send up smoke from his hand and then he would throw it up over his head into the air, while still sitting down. It made a whistly whir, like a wheeeeeeeeeeew, and then bang. Gee, looked like hordes of fun and excitement. As I passed him on my bike, I shot him a dirty look, because I thought he was an idiot. I was worried at first it might blow up on my head. As I made my way down this mellow and formerly peaceful stretch of trail, I breathed in the smoke from the firework. They kept shooting off, annoying my only chance all day for peace and quiet. Every 2 minutes or so for the next hour, he shot one off. Along with the noise pollution, I noticed all the wrappers and trash just thrown on the ground. I didn't have to the nerve to say anything to him, but I kept thinking "what a loser".

I started worrying about the bunnies. I am sure they heard that sound and got frightened. I worried about all the tadpoles and little insects who he killed. We taught in Boy Scouts to practice Leave No Trace principles when enjoying the great outdoors, which means being careful to have minimal impact on the enviroment, in order not to disturb the natural interaction between plants and animals, no matter how miniscule. Later after I did another loop and the man had finished having so much fun (it sure looked like a blast!), I got off my bike and picked up all the trash he left there. Tonight while walking with the kids over the same spot, I sadly noticed even more firecracker litter.

I do not understand firecrackers. The joy they bring in blowing them off is way over my head. I understand going to see a professional fireworks display. But I don't get why people enjoy blowing off firecrackers. Bang. Woo. Is that exciting? Is it fun? I think it's assinine and dangerous. Let me state for the record that anyone who goes into an of natural beauty to shoot off firecrackers is a moron.

First do no harm... then bill me.

Note: cast matches basketball shorts.

Biting my tongue in order not to make obvious underwear joke.


Trips to Doctor in the past 30 days

1.Pediatrician for TH to see about a swollen finger injured while playing football
2. Children’s Health Clinic to X-ray finger.
3. Pediatric Orthopedist to advise and treat broken index finger.
4. Dentist with all 3 kids for semi-annual cleaning and exam.
5. Orthodontist for A-Hod’s monthly visit.
6. Pediatrician for annual physical for 2 sons (2 visits combined into one).
7. Radiology Department to have TH’s elbow X-rayed.
8. Emergency Room to have TH’s elbow splinted.
9. General Practitioner by me to have a cyst removed from my leg.
10. Back to same doctor 2 days later because cyst became infected.
11. Pediatric Orthopedist to re-check finger. While there he also checks elbow and determines that it too is broken and puts it in a cast.
12. Pediatric Orthopedist with Greg to check on the progress of his leg after operation last summer. X-ray of leg followed by X-ray of spine.
13. General practice doctor to get stitches out of my leg.

That’s 13 doctor visits in a 30 day period and since 2 were doubled up, it was actually 18 appointments. Fortunately I have medical and dental insurance but still that was $350 co-pays plus an installment payment of $191 a month for the braces. 30 days, 6 sets of X-rays, 4 prescriptions filled, 3 broken brackets, 2 broken bones, 2 lectures on proper dental hygiene, one god-awful infection = one stressed out mom . While at a wonderful gathering the other night, one of the guests (who doesn’t have kids) gave me a lecture on neglecting my own annual gynecological visits. Yes, I haven’t been in like 7 years. Shall I call today and schedule an appointment? I also blew off my last teeth cleaning.

One of the things she said was “well if you don’t take care of yourself then who the hell would take care of the kids when you’re gone?” That was certainly a wise thing to say. Don’t get me wrong, she was completely right, but I don’t think she has a clue to how sick and tired I am of going to the doctor almost every single day about something.

Mama's Rule

The idea for this entry came to me last night, thanks to 8 glasses of Sangria. I actually recorded it on an audio blog while driving home. The results of my genius can be heard on the Catfish blog: http://cliqueofone.blogspot.com/

I also ramble on in one of the audio blog entries about the people from Jersey going to the Oyster Bar, which was for the benefit of my son Greg, who thinks pronoucing Jersey "Joisey" is hilarious. Of course everytime I meet someone from Jersey I go into the old "Are you from Joisey, I'm from Joisey" routine which sends him over the edge.

There is a new rule around my house "Waist of Pants above the A-hole". It makes me nostaligic for all the rules around my house growing up "Don't hold the refrigerator door open" "Don't talk with food in your mouth" "Be quiet in Church" and my personal favorite, "Drink your milk". Yeah, right. Like I was going to drink that vile sour liquid. I would wait until no one was looking and dump it down the sink.

Fast forward to the year 2006, my house, 3 teen boys, one who thinks he is Jay-Z and you gotta be wit it and wear da pants, yo . I am getting a little tired of getting a eyeball full of his ENTIRE ASS! Really do not go up he stairs behind this guy. Now I don't mind kids trying to look cool, I understand the whole thing about teens needed to follow the trends. Hell I wore some ridiculous fashions myself- the bandana around the head with the flowing indian skirt was all the rage for us hippies. But I am just tired of all this ass, so I had to impose a household rule. If you want to wear your pants low, that's fine with me. But Mama has a rule "Waist of pants above the A-hole" if you know what's good for ya! Word.

Any thought that pops into my brain..

...no matter how stupid is, I'm putting down in my blog. Stay tuned.