Taking a nap on Silver Hill Rd. EDDY-IN-THE BOX: 25th Anniversary Athens-to-Atlanta StartLine Costume
Left: Eddy Matzger takes a pre-race stretch. I decided to take my decrepit overweight out-of-shape body and attempt the 38 mile event. I came to this conclusion on June 1, leaving me 4 months to train. And all I got for my efforts was "What you're only skating 38 miles?" All the diehard pain warriors do not understand how I, Bong the Bomber, went from Fast to Flab in such a short time. It's called middle age, you Maschochistic Five-wheeled spandex-clad Freaks! I am still ranked in the top 10 for skate babes on the Duraskater Rankings, (http://www.a2a.net/results-durask.htm) -- so when I say I can't, I know what I'm talking about. Been there, done that. Broke that finger, left my skin on the pavement and suffered my share of severe bonkatude. And 38 miles is no picnic either-- but everytime an idiot drops out of the poker game, there's one less joker in the bunch.
What better way to celebrate the Athens-to-Atlanta 25th Anniversary Road Skate Marathon that in 7 year old ripped up speed skates? The frame busted loose the day before with no repair in sight. I decided it was a "mental" thing. But then Skateboi (due to years of overdoing it with Thai Chi) declared it was not mental, rather a real physical problem. I then became concerned, because of all people, he would know what's mental and what's not mental. Was that a cracking creaky sound I was hearing real or was it my imagination?
I went to the Expo and interviewed at least 8 different skating experts who were working the booths. These macho gadget wielding toolsters, Rollerblade engineers and handy-with-a-hex wrench sk8men suggested a variety of opposing solutions. All felt the need to try to dislodge the frame from the boot to check and see if there was indeed a problem, only adding to the problem. Mom and Dad, all the money you spent on my tuition to MIT was for nothing: a trip to Manny Moe's and Jack provided a perfect solution: A tube of flowy Crazy Glue. This filled in the cracks and not a creak to be heard from Athens to Dacula. Where I am proud to say I got 2nd place in my age (Old Bags), then nearly collapsed on the sidewalk.
To all you rednecks in the country side between Athens and Dacula: I am sorry we ruined your day and made you late for Church. Since god didn't strike us down dead, you felt the need to carry out His Work.
The MSN Skating Butterflys Introduce Windows XP! That's me, 3rd purple velvet body stocking clad butterfly from the right. This was the happiest day of my life. Microsoft actually paid us each $300 for this gig. This was the best gig I ever had (actually it was the only gig I have ever had.) There is certainly something to be said for paid gigs.
I would post more fun skating pics, but The Great Blogger Spirit is not letting me post any more tonight. I need to pray that the GBS will hear my prayers and allow my pics to post with ease on the first try.
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