Friday, January 26, 2007

Bod Man


Two of my sons, ages 12 and 14, bought some Bod Man. This is a manly deodorant spray. It costs $7.99 for an 8-ounce bottle! On the bottle, underneath Bod Man, it says "Really Ripped Abs". When I mentioned that it might take more than spraying this stuff on your stomach to get really ripped abs, they explained that was the flavor. I guess if you spray this on you smell like beer and sweat. Teenage boys are the target market for these body sprays, such as Axe and Bod Man, and apparently they are selling millions of them. My sons claim it will help them "get girls". I try to explain they are being conned but to no avail. Hey, Moe Beers, maybe Bod Man Really Ripped Abs is just the ticket!

Monday, January 22, 2007

Spinal Tap Reunion, 1992

Ignore Martha Quinn, but the rest is pretty funny. Nigel in his inventing shed, David and Jeanine at the Drippery with Graham Nash, and Derek driving with dad, Donald Duck-Smalls, around Nilford.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Ladder Act - CORTEO (Cirque du Soleil)

This gives an idea of the angels flying around. This guy did unbelievable things with this ladder!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Cirque du Soleil: Corteo


I went to see this last night. This is the type of experience that cannot be described properly in words because it is totally sensual. It is so much more than incredible acrobatic tricks because you are enveloped by the music, the colors, the textures, the costumes, the lights and the mood. I especially enjoyed the colors: it was a muted maroon, turqoise, pink, teal and gold palette.

When we arrived there was a gorgeous see-through screen set up. It was reminiscent of Italy, of the Italian Renaissance with cherubs.
This is not a very good picture, but hopefully it gives the idea:



The stage was in the center, set up in a horseshoe shape- not quite theatre in the round, rather the crowd was on opposite sides of the stage. I liked this set-up much better than previous Cirque's I have seen.

The story simply is a clown is imaging his own funeral. He is sort of a buffoon, a silly overgrown kid. His bed is on the stage when the angels come to take him up to heaven. There is a procession (Corteo) of his life, lived and things hoped for. Angels, looking like those that sit on top of Christmas trees are floating through the air the whole show.


One of the first breathtaking acts was beautiful gymnastics and dance taking place on elegant candle chandeliers:








Soon after more beds appeared on the stage. These were special beds because they had trampolines hidden in them. A pillow fight and pajama party took place, but it was a fantasy pillow fight. The acrobats were wearing adorable pajama costumes. The tricks seemed unlike anything humans could pull off. I used to do quite a bit of trampoline, and the proximity of the headboards on either end made these tricks much more difficult. For anyone who knows gymnastics terms, "traveling" was a huge no-no or the head would be smashed by the headboard. I truly loved this act! It was so much fun with perfect musical accompaniment.






Afterwards were more beautiful dancing, angels coming down from the sky. Men jumping into the air flipping on a see-saw or teeterboard. That was also quite scary as they would land the double flips on the end of the board! Then they had the "Cyr" act which is giant hula-hoops that the performers get in and roll around the stage. There was a constant stream of amazing acts, yet it was comical with midgets, giants, clowns and all sorts of silliness.

Another mind-boggling thing, that you cannot help but notice, is the bodies on the cast! Mon dieux, it was a sight to see.

I truly love the international flavor of these shows. They use Italian, French, Spanish and English during the show. I was particularly pleased that I understood the few Italian phrases. The songs are in Italian, French, Spanish and a "makeshift" Cirque language. I finally found that was true last night, because it states so on the back of my new CD. On my other Cirque du Soleil CD, Quidam, I suspected that one of the languages was made up, but I was not certain. I spent a long time trying to figure out what language it was: it sounds like a mix of Italian and French but I could tell that it was not real words from those languages. Also the entire cast is very international. They represent Canada, Italy, France, Spain, Russia, Ukraine, Belarus and more. The only people in the cast from the USA are several musicians in the band. I was wondering about why this was, but then it occured to me that any child in the USA who has a talent for acrobatics, would only have the outlet of the sport of gymnastics. In these other countries suppose there places to learn acrobatics and circus acts as well as families with a long history of this type of talent.

There were 2 little people in the show, who absolutely stole the show, Valentyna Paylevanyan and her husband Gregor Paylevanyan from Ukraine. The most unique act of the night was when Valentyna came out held up by a bouquet of helium balloons. Here she is:


They were actually holding her up. There was not enough that she would fly away, but enough to let her float in the air and slowly come down to the floor. The clown pushed her into the air for a bit, then let her out into the audience with instructions to "push her with two hands" if she lands at your seat! I leave you with the video of this video of Valentyna:

Thursday, January 11, 2007

One year ago today

January 11, 1006: I was attacked by 3 Presa di Canario dogs while minding my business on my front lawn. This is the type of dog that they were:
The man who owned the dogs that attacked me is breeding them and selling the puppies for $1200-$1500 a piece. It is a very lucrative business. Before my attack, I had not ever heard of the Presa de Canario, also known as "Presas" or "Canarios". They are not recognized by the American Kennel Club, however they were popular in South America. In 2001, there was a very publicized case involving a woman in California, Diane Whipple, who was mauled to death 2 of these dogs:

The Presa de Canario is the breed that attacked and killed Diane Whipple in the hallway outside her apartment in January 2001. The massive, boulder-headed Presa Canario is gaining in popularity as a result of the publicity surrounding this case. Breeders of the type of vicious dogs that killed her are caught in a paradox. Business has never been better--but for all the wrong reasons. They are the dog of choice for those who want the most explicit symbol of ferocity the pet kingdom has to offer, breeders and trainers say. "They're looking for that designer weapon that could make them look tougher," said Tracy Hennings, a breeder in Cleveland who is the president of the Dogo Canario Club of America. "They want that tough, macho, big dog at the end of the chain, lunging and charging." Breeders say they are receiving dozens and dozens of calls requesting information about the 120-pound dogs. They are not exactly from people looking for a family pet. They want these killer dogs-- as soon as the dog killed that woman, they wanted them.

Okay! This is the kind of sick society we live in, excuse me for being cliche' here. I'll improve that sentence eventually. Now since so many morons want these dogs, more morons are getting into the breeding business. The dogs that attacked me are owned by this type of jerk, who is breeding these dogs for profit. Some breeders are taking Mastiffs and breeding them with Pit Bulls and calling them Presa de Canarios.

I cannot believe a year has gone by, but I still think about this a lot. Actually everytime I step out onto my front lawn with my little dog. It was very traumatic. I still have a scar in that spot on my arm. I was also scratched on the back of my upper arm, and chipped my front tooth slamming the door on the dogs. I was on my front lawn with my little poodle, taking him for his afternoon pee, when the 3 dogs sprang out of my back yard and tried to kill him. I picked him up and they bit me on the arm. I ran back into the house, but I was unable to get my dog from them. They continued to try to kill my dog. Finally with help of 2 neighbors, a truck and baseball bats, my dog managed to get away with ripped ears, a cracked sternum, cracked ribs and no other injuries. The 3 dogs went to the county pound for 10 days and then were returned to the owner. The owner was find a piddly $300.

This man was given the dogs back, where one of them had a litter of nine puppies 2 months later.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Bounced Check Blues

I have been selling on eBay since January 2000. A check from one of my customers bounced! It looks like I am not going to get paid and I am furious over this.
In all the years I am selling on eBay, I only had one customer bounce a check, but he apologized profusely and returned my money, plus paid my bank fees, plus added another $20 for my troubles. I never have waited for "checks to clear", I just send the item out. A lot of eBay sellers lecture potential buyers about checks, tell them it will be 10 days to wait to clear the check if they send one. In the olden days, before most of my payments were electronic, I got a lot of checks in the mail. I was not able to fathom the headache of waiting for checks to clear before shipping- I looked at is as an administrational nightmare. Well not any more! No more Ms. Nice Stupid Moron EBay Seller!

I have had a very trusting attitude and never had a problem. The large majority of my customers now pay via Paypal, which is an email credit card system. The convenience and safety of this method is that I do not see their credit card numbers, and the payment to me is instant and guaranteed. About 95% of my customers now pay through Paypal as opposed to 50% 3 years ago and 25% 6 years ago. Now, the other 5% usually sends money orders. However, I have told some of the customers, that if it was easier to send a personal check rather than buy a money order, that I would not "hold the check to clear before shipping". I trust my menswear customers. They are not out to cheat me over the clothing.

This was a different situation; a different customer base. I was selling some Columbia Fleece jackets that I bought wholesale. The idea was to sell them before Christmas to get in on the holiday buying frenzy. There was a very low profit margin on each jacket. However it was pretty easy money, as they were all the same so once the first auction was done, it was all done. For those of you wondering about the scam of making millions selling on eBay, it is not as easy as it may sound. I shelled out $1100 to a wholesaler for 48 jackets. My total profit. after paying eBay and Paypal fees, is only about $300. The check bounced for $42 and the bank charged me $5 fee. So $47 loss from a total $300 profit is a significant percentage of my profit: more than 15%! I want to kill this bitch! Frankly, I didn't even consider the possibility that it would bounce, checks come so rare to begin with.

Her emails are being returned- she deleted the yahoo account. I have her phone number. All I need to do is get up the guts to call her on the phone. I also have her address, I could send her several invoices. I could also try to redeposit the check, but that is a gamble because if it bounces again, I get charged another $5. I could also post her personal information here! If anyone has any advice let me know. If anyone wants to call her for me, let me know!

I need to start being more wary of my fellow man. Between having my purse stolen and this customer screwing me, I am afraid I am becoming distrustful of everyone. Well, not really, one's basic nature cannot really change over night. But in general I do believe in the honestly of my customers and people I interact with. Most people who find a wallet would return it. Most people who shop on eBay are honest. Most sellers on eBay are honest.

Hopefully I collect this money. I do not like the idea of making a phone call to her. I do not know why I am such a wuss! Maybe I should publish her name and address on this blog? Shame her into paying me? Then I think about Stolen Sidekick fiasco and think twice about that!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Ebay Raises Seller Fees Again!

This morning I recieved an email from the President of eBay, Bill Cobb, explaining the new fee increase. Happy New Year to you too, Bill! Most people start the new year off with a raise or a cost of living increase. Ebay sellers greet each new year with what amounts to a pay cut.

EBay has raised fees almost every single year since I have been selling (since January 2000) and adds new fees any time they like. In July 2006, there was a HUGE fee increase, including an almost 50% increase on the eBay store subscription. I was hoping that we would not be faced with any new increases for awhile. Yeah, right. Wishful thinking.

The fees are raised in one area only, for example, final value fees, and the insertion fees are left alone. The next time they raise insertion fees. Then they raise "specialty" fees, such as gallery (photos), Buy it Now fees, and auction length fees. They have fiddled and fiddled with all of the different fees to make it look like nothing is happening. They go around in a perfect circle, each time with an interesting explanation to match the increase. A nickel here, a dime there, a penny there. With millions of items up for sale each day on ebay, a nickel increase generates millions for the company.

In July, the sellers got a long drawn-out explanation behind the fees. It seems it wasn't fair, so they were going to raise some of the fees to make it more fair! Today the explanation is that they are spending our money "driving buyers to the site". The commercials and the direct mail advertising are lame. That did not help me sell my sector, which is gently used clothing. Did eBay run a commecial explaining about used mens suit in great shape for a song? No, instead they pushed "brand new" inventory, electronics, jewelry and ipods. Never mind that the mark-up on new items is next to nothing for the sellers. If you purchase new items wholesale and discount them on eBay, then pay fees, the margin of profit is slim, if anything.

The listing fees are going up 5 cents and final value fees going from 3% to 3.25%. I feel nickel and dimed to death. On one item which I was selling for $30, ebay and paypal took $5 in fees. The wholesale price was $22, making no room for any mistakes or profit.

A number of sellers try to protest by not listing anything or opening cheaper auction sites. Unfortunately this never works because EBay has the only real name recognition as an auction site in the U.S. There are others, but if no one knows about them, your stuff won't sell.

From the email: "Let me say that, while we believe these changes are modest, we consider any changes that may impact our sellers with great care. These adjustments are the result of careful analysis and we believe they're the right thing to do to keep the marketplace strong for our eBay.com sellers."

What does that mean? I do not think they have considered how this is going to impact me. In any case, I know that ebay is trying to expand into China. Apparently they lost the market in Japan, which uses Yahoo Auctions as its main auction site, and do not want to lose China. I would imagine that they need a lot of money to get ebay started in China, and that is one of the major reasons for the fee increases.

More and more people sell on ebay each day. So although eBay has bigger expenses, and is running a larger enterprise, those expenses should be covered through existing fees. If there are more sellers and more items, there are more fees to collect.

Actually, this summer they promised us that the new fee structure was exactly what was needed to straighten out the company. They also claimed that no more fees were on the horizon. They plainly lied to us last summer. As my expenses increase, my competition increases as well, which always pushes down prices. The more competition, the cheaper I have to sell my wares to stay competitive. The higher the fees, the less money I make. The less money I make, the less I want to continue doing this for a living.